becky-fitness:

• Saying no sometimes
• Wanting to be alone sometimes
• Saying no to sex
• Saying yes to sex
• Not being sure about your life career
• Deciding to study instead of going out
• Getting rid of the toxic people in your life
• Ending a relationship that is hurting you
• Not liking the things everyone else likes

(via nosrslyfu)

Dreams (goals, and aspirations). Why they are so personal to everyone, and why people don’t share their dreams with others often. Why people should share them. What has changed when I have shared my dreams with others. Being prepared for when people have their doubts. Why people throw shade. Why people get jealous. Why people worry and become afraid. Why people should dream big, but don’t be disappointed if things don’t always work out the way they wanted.

I see my life as a big beautiful canvas that God has given me. I see my actions and everything I am doing as me painting my dreams on that canvas, and every mistake and imperfection is still a beautiful part of the painting on the canvas. Sometimes, the vision in my head doesn’t always turn out to be the way I wanted it, sometimes worse, sometimes better, but either way, in the end it’s up to you to appreciate every part of it. 

Hm, let’s see if I can remember everything I was pondering on my run today.

Usually when I go running I think of things I should express the most gratitude for. My favorite route starts at 6th & Laurel right by Balboa Park, goes all the way down 6th to downtown, up and around the bridge towards the Hilton, all the way through Seaport Village, almost to the San Diego Airport, and then all the way back up Laurel to where I started. Along the way, I see so many different things to appreciate life. All of which I am thankful for, and all the reasons why it is my favorite route.

1. The homeless people who are sleeping in the grass fields around Balboa Park and bathing in the sun: I know whatever challenges I am facing in my life, one of the greatest things I should be thankful for is that I have a shelter, a roof to live under, a bed to sleep in at night, access to food & water, and a whole lot more than the less fortunate.
2. Through downtown I see all these different restaurants, hotels, stores: and in all of them I see all the workers who are working hard at their jobs to survive and make enough to get by with the cost of living in this beautiful city of San Diego. I wonder about things like what colleges some of these business men have gone to or whether they went to college or not. I see more homeless people and wonder whether they were ever given the opportunity of higher education, and I think back to how grateful I am for the opportunities I have been given.
3. After crossing the bridge that goes over the train tracks, the first thing I see in the port is the great big Dole ship, with huge semi-truck trailers with imported goods that will be shipped all throughout the country. Maybe they all come from the same country, or maybe they have come from different countries around the world. Either way, they made it all the way to San Diego. 
4. The next thing I see are these huge yachts that are so beautiful and they look like they cost millions of dollars. I can only think about all the rich people who can afford to travel in them and go on vacations. Whether I’ll ever get to experience being on one of them in my life or not, it doesn’t hurt to fantasize what it would be like!
5. Getting around to Seaport Village, it’s all families, tourists, couples on dates, and other runners. There are people putting on shows, or just standing there with a jar for donations, people selling all sorts of different things, sort of like at Venice Beach. Sometimes people get in my way and sometimes it gets so frustrating but it only gives me more fuel to keep running. The couples make me think about love, and whether I will ever find love. I think about maybe some of these couples are very happy, or maybe some of these couples are very sad. Either way, they all look and appear to love each other. 
6. Many of the people leisurely walking around Seaport Village are obese/overweight. A lot of them barely even able to walk at all. I think about how grateful I am for having the ability to walk/run, and being able to exercise to feel better about myself. I know that the efforts I’m making to becoming healthy will help prevent me from being like some of the people I see around. Seeing other runners who look so fit inspire me to keep going so that perhaps someday I can be at their level. Or maybe not, but either way it’s great to see there are others who have similar thoughts. 
7. Besides people getting in my way, more towards the Maritime Museum with the other ships, are infested with my biggest enemies: pigeons. They’re so used to all the tourists and they’re not afraid of people. If I’m running straight towards one, it will make sure I move out of it’s way and it would no way in hell move out of my way. They’re evil, I swear.
8. Almost getting to the airport, I listen to all the planes taking off and/or landing: I think about all the people coming to San Diego, perhaps for the very first time, or maybe returning. Or all the people who are leaving San Diego and plan on never returning for who knows what might have happened in their time here.
9. Last part is all hills back up to Balboa Park and I can get a little view of downtown: I take it all in and think about how much distance I have covered. I think of these hills as my challenges and obstacles in life, and how I am always climbing and rising above them all and getting to the next point in life. 
10. Usually by the end, I’m so thirsty and hot and desperate to get to my ice cold water bottle waiting for me in my car (which I am so thankful for too): I can’t wait to go home and take a nice cold shower, and move on with whatever I am able to do with the rest of my day. Wash, rinse, and repeat.

I am so thankful for today. End of the year dinner party for LGBTSU was a success. I love our co-advisors so much. Just finished watching Star Trek at home with the roomies. Now I really want to see the new one that’s out. I really want to see The Great Gatsby and Iron Man 3 too. I started reading a gay fiction novel I’ve been waiting so long to read yesterday: Something Like Winter. Then I plan to finally read Catching Fire & Mockingjay. 

I’m so happy that it’s summer finally. I’m so excited for everything coming up.   :) I’ve been feeling very blessed lately.